Spring at the Strib
Spring arrived yesterday, and there was a general craziness in people\’s expressions that was akin to an astronaut finding oxygen on the moon.
I can sympathize. Just last week I was looking out the window at work – it was a bright but frigid day – and I can remember thinking, \”It\’s never going to be warm again.\”
Apparently, the craziness spread into the world of print journalism, as the Star Tribune, a nationally recognized metropolitan newspaper, ran this story on the front page under the headline \”We note without regret the death of old man winter.\”
Now, don\’t get me wrong, I\’m not opposed to this kind of writing. In fact, as you can see, I indulge in it a lot, probably too much. I thought it was pretty well written and kind of funny.
But why did it belong on THE FRONT PAGE of the biggest newspaper in Minnesota,
accompanied by stories about the 9-11 commission hearings and a foiled terrorist attack in France?
Not only was this story about the arrival of warm temperatures not really big news, it was actually fiction. On the front page of a newspaper. Fiction.
But hey, whatever, right? If they want to print made up stories about seasons metaphorically \”dying\” on the shores of Lake Harriet, that\’s cool with me. I think I may even have a submission for them:
(Minneapolis, MN) – Old man journalism had a stroke last night at his downtown Minneapolis office. Police said Journalism\’s secretary, Ms. Common Sense, found the old man lying face down in a pool of wire stories.
Mr. Journalism was in stable condition at Hennepin County Medical Center, where doctors said they were treating him for mild dementia and memory loss. He is expected to recover, although doctors cautioned that more strokes, possibly resulting in brain damage, are likely.
The more than 200-year-old man had been in poor health of late. It had been a slow news day, and he had been up late with his secretary working on the front page. Ms. Sense told investigators she left the office for about a half hour, and when she returned she found Journalism unconscious.