If by b-boys, you mean, people who never watched a basketball game throughout the regular season, and now are not only on the bandwagon, but vying for the reins.

That\’s me. All year long my affiliation with the Timberwolves has been scant, and my attitude cold: I didn\’t bother them if they didn\’t bother me.

But now that they\’ve bootstrapped (is that the right word?) their way into the third round of the playoffs, I\’m trying to make up for lost time. I have quickly memorized the name and position of every player on the team, despite not really knowing what those positions mean. My girlfriend yesterday asked me to explain what a point guard was, and all I could say was, \”Usually a short guy who dribbles.\”

That may be right, but my sports ignorance shows in my inability to express it clearly. And I was pretty much just guessing.

Let\’s not get into my feigned explanation of the difference between technical, personal, and team fouls. It was like cooking with a blindfold on: a little of this, a little of that, and I don\’t know what any of it is, anyway.

I\’m an excellent plagiarizer, so I can talk about ball rotation and penetration without having the vaguest idea what it means. OK, maybe the vaguest. But it all comes from listening to announcers\’ chatter.

Despite all that, I\’d like to offer the following mediocre insights:

• The Lakers have more talent than the Wolves. Much. More. It\’s very hard to beat a team when you shut down Kobe, Shaq, and Karl Malone and they still have 3-point shooters like Fisher and George to bug you.
• Just because they have more talent doesn\’t mean they\’ll use it. Intensity is what the Wolves can\’t do without. And as they showed last night, hustle, teamwork and a little bit of luck can beat the Lakers. And it doesn\’t hurt if baby Shaq is sleeping, either.
• The Wolves\’ bench can be deep, but it can\’t be deep forever. Without big games from KG (Cage is what I\’m going to start calling him) and Sprewell, there\’s no way we\’re going to get a split in L.A.
• Which brings me to my last point: we don\’t need a split in L.A. Sure, it\’d be nice, but we\’re guaranteed a game 5 back here, and as scary as that sounds, an elimination game at home could be just the kind of make-or-break situation Minnesota could capitalize on.

There. The Sports Illustrated Uninformed Edition. Just as sexy as the swimsuits; no need to hide it behind the computer at work.

And, of course, a bunch of hooey.

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