Timberwolves, be gone with ye! I don\’t know why I do this to myself. I start actually caring about whether they win or lose. I start thinking that the outcome of this series will have some impact on my life.

But it won\’t. Despite how undeniably likeable KG and the gang are, and depite the Lakers detestable smugness, I\’m going to stop caring. If, by some twist of fate (or legal misfortunes, in Kobe\’s case) the Twolves go on to win this series, I won\’t have the satisfaction of knowing I was with them all the way. I feel bad for that, but win or lose, I\’m just not sure I want to be a part of it.

Plus, I\’ve got this to keep me entertained.

Bendo – the MVP of my cubicle

House updates
The roof has stopped leaking. I went up there and distributed caulk like ketchup on a ballpark frank. Now I\’ve just got to fix the ceiling tiles that came off in the family room.

The trees have been trimmed and the branches hauled away, to some awful tree graveyard, I suppose. The roof hasn\’t been fixed yet, I keep hoping it\’ll just get better. To that end, I have been smearing it with Zinc and Echinacea.

Retaining wall = fixed. Fixed = with chewing gum. It is a horror to behold. Ugly and deformed.

Otherwise, the house is lovely as ever, with Lilies of the Valley blooming on the north side. Sounds right out of Mary Poppins.

You know why the T-wolves keep losing? Because I\’m not there to cheer for them. And neither are 19,000 other Minnesota fans. I propose a simple technological innovation to solve this problem. Every TV set should be equipped with a micophone. When the Wolves fans watching at home cheer, those cheers should be relayed instantly to speakers in the Staples Center (or wherever they\’re playing). That way the TV audience can be involved in the game.

Or, better yet, every household could have a controller that operated a cardboard manequin in the stadium. There would be a whole section of cardboard fans, with speakers for mouths. They would spin their arms and make jolty, puppet movements to resemble clapping. Wouldn\’t that be encouring, Kevin?

Nothing better than a couple thousand creepy simulacra to fire up the away team.

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I think it means puppets.

This entry was posted on Friday, May 28th, 2004 at 6:50 am and is filed under Home-ownership, Sports, Technology. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.