My mom is worried that I\’m going to be drafted. Not into the NBA, like I deserve, but into the military.
An email told her George Bush is making preparations to institute the draft two years from now. The pedigree of this email she did not examine. For all I know it comes from the same [...]

Oh, I complain, but my life is so good.
It\’s the rocking of the porch swing that makes me say that. It\’s the warm breeze. It\’s the bundle of fresh chocolate cookies waiting for me in the kitchen (an unquestionable benefit of living just blocks away from your mom).
To my left – westward – the [...]

It\’s not all glamour, this storm-damage business. It seems that way on the local news, I know, what with all the flash photography and charming insurance adjusters.
But that\’s only if you get hit really bad. Like if a tree lifts up and pierces right through your living room; a toothpick holding together a big [...]

More evidence of my ever-expanding sphere of influence: a survey reports that New York City experienes one of the steepest declines in adult smoking ever measured; 11% drop in one year. And it coincided with the introductiong of huge tobacco taxes and a smoking ban.
The surveys, to be released today, show that after holding steady [...]

Well, the awesome political influence I wield through this blog has finally been proven: just days after I wrote a piece here in support of Dave Thune\’s proposed Saint Paul smoking ban, Minneapolis has introduced a proposal of its own.
And it appears politicians aren\’t the only ones reading my blog; Star Tribune readers, no doubt [...]

Imagine a teenage kid on a sugar high re-enacting the entire Star Wars series in his bedroom. See him pacing around, battling imaginary villains, becoming every character?
That\’s Charlie Bethel. Except, instead of light sabers and Storm Troopers, it\’s swords and fire-breathing dragons.
Charlie Bethel is Beowulf. He\’s also Hothgar, Wiglaf, Grendel, Grendel\’s mother, another dragon, [...]

Please stop attacking my home. I have enough problems as it is.
As you Minnesota readers may know, we had some tree-cherous weather Sunday night, and I wasn’t spared from the storm.
The good news is, I’ve still got half of a tree in the front yard. The bad news is, well, the other half of the [...]

Dave Thune, you rascal. What a lucky name; it lends itself to all kinds of punnery. And I don\’t even know who you are, aside from a fairly popular lawn sign.
But what I know of you is enough; you\’ve got my vote.
That\’s right, friends, next chance I get (and I hope it comes thuner than [...]

The University is sending me threatening emails. In them it (he?) says, \”You owe money. If you don\’t pay, we breaka\’ ya\’ legs.\”
Which is fine. I understand that. They\’ve got a bloated bureaucracy to feed. They\’ve been raising tuition by around 12 percent for the last four years now, and they want to see those [...]

Diego Maradona was seriously ill. Last week he was lying in critical condition in a hospital bed in Buenos Aires.
The hospital is the Suizo-Argentina.
It\’s one of the best hospitals in the city. And it\’s also where my grandparents go.
They visit pretty frequently (more frequently than I\’d like) for various things.
Diego is the greatest soccer [...]